ALERT: Toronto under attack by crazed deer. SWAT responds and tasers it
The Telecrap Urinal - Ed A. Tor
November 28th, 2009
The city of Toronto came under siege yesterday, bringing the city to a halt when a crazed deer wandered into the downtown core. The fire department and S.W.A.T responded. It took awhile but the police brought the situation under control by tasering the animal.
Chalk up a victory for Toronto’s finest as they protected Torontonians from this vicious beast.
In response to this attack, Stephen Harper has called for a meeting with all Premiers and Municipal Mayors in an effort to draw up contingency plans for all of Canada.
From Prime Minister Harper: “This was too close of a call. We got lucky today. The brave men and women of the Toronto Police Force put their lives on the line to protect person and property from harm.
It is extremely important that we do not have another incident like this. That is why I am calling for a meeting with leaders from across the country. We are going to brainstorm and come up with a plan to protect all Canadians from another deer attack.
After having discussed this with the ghost of Mackenzie King last night, I have come up with an initial plan that calls for military checkpoints to be established at the borders of all Canadian cities. Canadians will be issued special biometric ID cards in an effort for our brave men and women of the armed forces to do their jobs easier. That way we can be sure that we are dealing with a Canadian citizens and not a deer in disguise.
After a reporter asked: “Military checkpoints? Isn’t that turning Canada into a Police State?”;
Harper responded with “I am sure Canadians will not mind giving up a little bit of their freedoms so we can all sleep at night, knowing we are safe from this menace. You are either with us or with the deer. Thank you.”
WOW I feel much safer now. A big thank you to our friendly leader.