NB Legislature Liveblog #0001

Listen to the replay: Direct link
I'm too lazy to research these issues fully - so I'm blogging this one straight out of my *ss, but here goes. I'm listening to a few bills getting a second reading in the NB legislature over the internets, and I'm going to give it a shot live-blogging it. - Dan F.
1:05 AM (Amsterdam time): Guy from Riverview comes in, trying to sound tough...

The Liberals comes out and say - this is what we're going to do - challenge me if you like.

Residential tenancies acts passes super quick.

Some dude pipes in with "I have to quit the motion"
Bill #52
Securities act

Libs: The amendments are being put forward so the act will comply with the passport act (Reel ID!). Provides 'assistance to those in relation to financial matters'? [Ed: WTF does that mean?] Securities commission can begin doing it's work [Ed: 'bout time]

Member for Riverview: (Justice & Supply and service involved) - Idea of the passport floated by minister of treasury?

Markets different between jurisdictions, need to conform but not take away from 'autonomy'.

Enforcement: People from outside NB dealing, or having scheme not allowed by province laws (who - the banks?)

Business NB - evening meal, minister of Justice opened, interesting discussion about capital markets (that they're part of a bigger piramid scheme, well outside of provincial control?).

Those with business ideas can access those with moneys (I guess NAFTA wasn't enough).

Opportunities there in NB, but low on Cash (they've zapped it off to Bermuda, dummies!)

NB Securities commission not compromised 'in any way' - ambassadors for NB (wonder what they did)

Opposition supports? Motion Carried.
Indemnification of politicians

Stipulations to deal with absenteeism

Indemnity across the country, members indemnified for what?


Unanimous consent for some other kind of BS.

House closes until 8:30 AM tomorrow morning New Brunswick time
Judicature Act

Justice Minister:

Mr Chair, blah blah blah - on my right is some old dude, a bunch of punks to my left - plus a shot at a Mr. Betts... What you guys want?

Guy from Riverview asks the most long-winded question I've ever heard... As long as C-31 lets us abuse the taxpayer more... Everything seemed clear, but now he can't remember, because he has a clog stuck in his brain.... Royal assent?....... Brad Green, JP someone........ 3 additional family court judges............people waiting for cases to be heard (hmmm... those social workers doing brisk work?)......So, the parameters of his question make it ridiculous that he believes a question was asked.

- Deals with Vexatious litigants?
- Amendments to allow increase in judges (did the population grow?)

Opposition: You haven't explained it to us, we don't know anything about it....

TJ: Good Question, let's pass it and move on, we're in a hurry 'cause we can't schedule a normal time to meet. [ Ed: try before 8:45 PM NB Time, idiots].

Opposition keeps harping about 3 judges, I can't believe they're wasting time with this - isn't there anything else here?

Finally, the bald opposition asks a good question - what sort of suit would they expect against the government:

TJ: Not just against the government, against anyone - indemnification for all (yeah right) - annoying lawsuits cause stress (that's true) - courts can eliminate annoying lawsuits.

Opposition (lawyer?) tries to slander lawyers, asks if this will help in David and Goliath type lawsuits

TJ: No, we will still f*ck the poor and downtrodden. Courts now can just toss out whatever they like, instead of extracting information piecemeal.

Opposition: So, this is good for us?

TJ: Yes.

Opposition: We fold (what they were fighting for, I have no idea)

[Ed: Nobody said no?... Oh wait - one person said no - who was that? This is a judicial travesty]

Bill 27
Proceeds of Crime Act

Opposition: We know you're righteous dudes, but some idiots at home want us to make sure you really love us.

Liberal tripartite huddle.... Hmmm - how do we push through authoritarian counterintuitive legislation that will strip the people of their rights and make sure the money / oil and power flow in the right direction? (this is a long pow-wow, they'd sure better not keep pushing for time here)

TJ: It's complicated, I need people to pawn the stuff we seize in the fake wars on X we're making you fight. We seize properties, sell it with Dept. Supply and Services, who 'I believe' puts the money into a general pool for 'fighting crime' and victim services.

Opposition: It's clear how the money comes into the fund, how are you using/stealing/wasting at the other end? Who and how is it determined where the money goes coming out of the fund? (9:05 PM New Brunswick Time - I was able to get up and grab a beer and microwave some food in the time it took him to answer).

TJ: Yes... that is a good question - it goes into a fund of which I am the trustee. Then goes on to tell a sad story of a grow operation, (smart alec remark about not personally knowing anything about grow ops) the house insides are destroyed. Cost recovery from RCMP (to do the bust?), expenses to maintain the property.... What do we do with the residual? A highly trained specialize 'integrated proceeds of crime unit' - sole focus of fighting crime [Ed: this is the shadiest, least precise answer I've ever heard. These guys are definitely crooked, I hear it in that answer.]

Opposition: How does the supposed fund give out money to victims?

(another long pause)

TJ: The primary purpose is victim restitution, it is a priority... [editor's note: they need to do some accounting on this vague crime fighting / compensation program - who even determines who is a victim and how much they get? How much for uncivilly tazered victims]

Opposition: Another crap question

TJ: We're all lawyers, ha ha ha - 'I see it as the role of the courts ... the office of the attorney general... police, social workers, combined and ancillary organizations that make the system function on a day-by-day basis.

Opposition: Well, is the 'residual' in your supposed fund really going to victims, or going to fund salaries and paper clips in your department, or what? What mechanisms are in place so the $ goes to the intended places, unlike the environmental trust funds, who have run off with the monies they were supposed to spend of fixing the 'vironment? How can we make sure the money that comes out it actually going to people in need?

TJ: Awww. you awsked me too many question, the auditor general can take a look - why are you up in my grill, old man? I know my office is here to ensure that the administration of justice is paramount (wrong TJ) - and that the courts force us to give the money to victims, no matter how much we'd like to fund our little black ops. Go ahead and try to look into this, b*tches.

Motion carried.


Bill #31

Act to amend pension benefit act.

TJ introduced two snargly-looking broads, they say the bill won't cost us anything extra.

Opposition: But, doesn't adding more people mean there are more people to pay?

TJ: Technically yes, but only for private businesses.

Opposition: Ok, I just wanted to make sure we weren't bailing some private firm out again.

Bill #39
Penalties for Provincial Offenses

Opposition: What should we know about this bill

TJ: There's nothing wrong, go back to sleep, we're just enhancing / housekeeping things by multiplying possible fines in NB by 500% from 50,000 to 250,000... nothing to talk about.

Opposition: Alright, we don't really know what's going on, so we reserve the right to whine about it later.


Credit Disclosure Act

Opposition: Could the minister tell us again what this is all about, we forgot to read what it says.

TJ: The creditor will pay [Ed. Yeah - with that fake money they keep making]

Opposition: What type of disclosure does this bring forward?

(long pause - fat bald guy next to TJ looks real uncomfortable)
TJ: We're trying to keep NB in the 'Game' - some examples: addresses, interests, insurance payments and rates. Section 16 identifies whatever else we're making people turn over - I can't say it out loud.

Opposition: If someone stands up for their rights, who gets to disclose that?

TJ: We'll be the credit industry's whipping boy.

Bill 41

Act to amend pre-arranged funeral act

Opposition: We don't want to figure this out, could you tell us what it says?

TJ: Funeral homes can't get paid by insurance agencies, we're legislating how you get burned when you die, we're going to roll it out when we feel like it.

No opposition votes, sounded like only one guy said yes


Ambulance service act
(9:42 PM New Brunswick time - what kind of idiot scheduled this meeting?)
Member from Albert: Some EMTs not trained to use their defibrillator, did someone fix that yet?

Snappy Undertaker Suit Liberal (Susl): No, we're going to wait and train everyone over the next year or two.

Member from Albert: Are they on 24 or 12 hour shifts?

SUSL: The new system has 200 paramedics in it, we're hiring 30 in a bit, the union agreed to some crazy shift, why not let them work it?

Member from Albert: Why are you retarded (I think I like this guy)

SUSL: Yeah, they work for 24 hours, but they only usually get called to deal with raccoon bites

Member from Albert: A truck driver can't drive 24 hours, how did you slip this B$ past any safety board?

SUSL: Yeah, yeah - we've been doing it for a while, there will be 100 new ones this year [Ed: staying in NB??]

Member from Albert: No, they used to go on call for an additional 12 hours, they didn't actually work 24 hours straight, like they do now. Goes back to truck driver argument, expresses heartfelt concern.

SUSL: They're doing it everywhere, I don't like it, but we ARE making sure it's not 'breaching' the law.

Member from Albert: So, once we get our magic new EMTs, this 24 hour shift thing will end?

SUSL: Yeah, if you live that long, old man.
French guy comes out to question how the money for integration was used so far, why they're scrambling now to get their act together.

SUSL (in passable french): they're working on it.

French guy: but where did the 500 large go?

SUSL: We spent that on start-up costs... for GPS.

French guy: Oh Really?


New Maryland (Peter Ashfield): How did you spiffy new system handle the flood (what kind of a softball question is this)?

SUSL: Oh great, we even have the military in on it, we're ready to do this Katrina style as soon as possible

New Maryland Rep (with stars in his eyes): You guys are fabulous - what would we do without the loving government - we'd all drown if you didn't get those GPSs... But what about the people in minto who can't get an ambulance to save them?

SUSL: We're going to smooth things over with the mayors tomorrow - people 'need to feel safe' in their homes and communities - we'll see what we can do to make sure more GPS and 24 hour shifts come in to help the people out.

New Maryland Rep: Citizens keep telling me to stand up to you, could you do a better job keeping them complacent?

Motion carried unopposed.
10:12 PM NB Time (Last act)
Bill #47

Tobacco Sales Act

Shediac rep (French guy): We're the second best at smoking, how can we convince our people to stop killing themselves so decadently? There are 4000 chemicals in cigarettes, we need to let people know. Smokers are noxious - we must discourage them from doing what they want. Tobacco is the worst health problem in Canada, it costs the health system too much.

Motion Carried unopposed.

Dan F.'s closing comments:
What the Hell are all the firefighters and politicians planning to do that they now need protection from lawsuits? Why are we supposed to pay off their criminal actions?

This is ridiculous - I can't listen to these obsequious lawyers anymore, I'm sick of it - throw the buggers out if this is all they can think to work on. I'm just sad for the youngsters in there, serving old fogies like mason pledges, in the hopes for power one day.

That's the second time I've ever listened to the NB legislature (first time when I was five) - I was hoping it would be the last... I'm just glad I didn't know what the buggers were up to back then.

But when the house is so concerned with ceding power to a justice system that serves the ultimate criminals (banks failed because of lax passport rules, yeah sure!) - and you want to make it easier to take kids from homes, and give potential vigilante volunteers indemnification...

Well - I'll listen as long as they let me.

P.S. NB Opposition - grow a pair, fellas, you got plenty to work with.

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